Country roads took me home

Country roads, take me home
to the place, where I belong...

I heard this song in a taxi in Bangkok, two weeks before we left. It's the first time I thought about New York, and wasn't sure if it's the place where I belong.

Time is up. We have to go. But it's very sad.

The last few weeks in Bangkok involved numerous good-byes, send-off parties, friends to see, tears shed. I was not ready to leave yet. But it's time.

I made so many wonderful friends, whom I certainly hope to see again the future, just don't know where and when.

Then it was packing madness, wrapping up my Thai class, Chinese classes etc etc. My last day of both Thai and Chinese classes were two days before our flight.

It gave me the time to process "coming home" in the last 2.5 weeks of driving from San Francisco to New York. We saw many friends and family along the way, including friends we haven't seen for years. America IS beautiful. I never thought Idaho as a beautiful state, as I only knew of its potato. In Yellowstone, we saw both grizzly and black mother bears with their cubs. Brent was chasing a porcupine on the highway in Wisconsin and wanted to take a picture of it as it ran and climbed up a tree shaking. Beautiful snow mountains, quiet highways, clean air, all told me that we were in America the beautiful. Also we saw fat cows, big people, in contrast to the other world, telling me America has no indication of food shortage.

Currently in my parents home. Will find out how our own home is tomorrow. Then it'll take weeks to put our lives together. When my job search starts, I will know I am back.

Happy Water Splashing - Thai new year!

It's called Songkrang. And be prepared to get wet!

Today is the first day of the new year. Bangkok is almost deserted. Most people return to their home town to celebrate new year. For those who are native Bangkokers, or have no money to go home, we go out to paint the town - white. People would get on pickup trucks, or just stand by the sidewalk, and use their water fun or just buckets, to splash water on passerby. This splashing water symbolizes the leaving of the old, and coming of the new. Not only that, they would dip their hands in white baby powder, or some other gooy white paste, and rub them on anyone's faces. Some British (usually) older expats really hate this festival. They leave Thailand during this week and escape to other countries.

As we walked out of church today with a few friends and two three-year-olds, we were immediately greeted by a family, with the man rubbing white powder on our faces. And a kid started shooting water at us. One of our kids got shocked and started crying. This is their first Songkrang here and their parents left their water guns home. As we walked on, other kids started shooting at us. The little boy Owen with me wasn't very happy. I asked the street kids if we could borrow their gun. The older one said to wait for a moment. We followed him to where he's refilling his gun with water. Apparently he's the son of one of the car garage attendants. The adults got out a gun and handed to Owen. Once Owen started shooting at others, he laughed with joy. Soon his twin brother Bret arrived, and the garage attendant gave him another gun. The boys started having fun and didn't want to leave. As they were playing, their mother and I got wetter as other kids were shooting at us. And the garage attendants gave the guns to the boys as gifts.

On our way trying to get to a Chinese restaurant, more water was splashed on us. By the time we got to the restaurant, the boys were drenched (they are too small I guess). When we left the restaurant, some girls on the street were drenched, as they were pouring water on themselves trying to wash off the white paste on their faces. A British university intern with us got a big hand of white paste on her face. It is great fun! She's planning to go to Kaosan Road, the famous backpacker district tomorrow to do some serious water splashing with her colleagues.

I went to the Well yesterday to visit. The women ended work early and were hanging out, ready for the new year. I asked one woman Jane how she's doing. She answered back in very good English in such joy, "I am very very happy right now." I asked her why. She answered "because I have God. I am full inside, and I am also full outside!" She laughed as she was squeezing her own belly. (she's on the heavy side) She went on telling me that her husband died, and she was very depressed and turn to beer and whiskey. She was always angry and rude, and wasn't being responsible to her two young girls. She met one of the women Tina who has been coming to the Well. Tina invited her to come, but she's afraid that she wouldn't understand a thing that's going on, as she had been to temples before and sat their meditating and listen to monk talks, but she didn't understand what's being said and only felt more despair within. She said it must be God telling her to come to the Well. After she has come to the center, she felt so happy. Now she no longer needs beer and whiskey, and she is full of happy thoughts. Her daughters are with her now and she has learned how to speak politely to others. It's hard for me to imagine what she was like before, as every time I see her, she is full of smiles.

I hope that we can all have the fullness inside as Jane, on this new year's day and forever.

the evil and the everyday life in Cambodia

I can't say much about the genocide museum in Phnom Penh. Because I didn't go in. Because I didn't have the stomach to go in. Once I translated for a friend a page of a book describing how the Japanese raped and tortured a Chinese woman in Singapore, I started hyperventilating. Ever since, I can hear the screams of the victims without knowing their stories, and feel haunted by the shadow of their ghosts.

So I sat in a cafe across from the museum, while Brent spent two hours in the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. It is also called S-21, a high school converted to the torture and killing center of prisoners. He took some photos, and relayed a couple of stories of those who went through and died here. A woman from Phnom Penh was sent to the countryside to work, as millions of other city people. The peasants were called the "new people" by the Khmer Rouge and city people "old" (bad) people. The country women were jealous of this woman's fairer skin (because she wasn't working in the fields all day long) so they were always harsh to her, and would conspire to find fault in her. They would craw under her hut (on stilts) during her husband's once or twice a year visits and listened to their conversation. They would report back to the authorities. They eventually found fault with her, and she was sent to S-21. Her husband who was working for the Khmer Rouge at a low level was also sent there, but maybe they never saw each other in prison. She was tortured and killed.

Generally, we seem to have the notion that poor people and dark skinned people are the oppressed. But given the opportunity, they can certainly exercise the same kind of evil over the weaker. Kindness is not human nature.

Some prison guards were interviewed. Some showed remorse, and others didn't regret what they did at all.

On the surface, all this seemed to be a distant memory. People live for today. They are having as much fun as they can, even living dangerously. How they use transportation is a good example, especially how they use motorcycle as the main transportation vehicle - a family of 5 on 1 motorcycle, or two dead pigs on one.

More pictures from Laos and Cambodia:
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8CcsWbZsyZsUC&emid=sharshar&linkid=link4

Beauty - Laos and Cambodia visa run

As our previous visa was running out, we had to leave Thailand again to get a new tourist visa. I found that Vientiane, Laos is a good place to do that, also everyone I know who has been there loved it. Since we only have single entry visa, I decided it's a good time to get Angor Wat out of the way in Cambodia as well.

We loved Vientiane, Loas. It's very peaceful and people are very nice. Cheaper than Bangkok. We still had to haggle to get a more reasonable tuk-tuk fare. I never knew when to use the word "enchanting" but I would use it for Vientiane. But I heard from other trekkers that the countryside is even more simple and peaceful. It's the most laid back capital in the world, according to Lonely Planet, and I can't disagree more based on my traveling experience. There's not much going on, so it can get boring after a few days, but I was glad to soak up the peacefulness of the city and the riverfront and the smiles from vendors. They were trying hard to sell, but they don't make you feel harassed.

Then we went to Siem Reap, Cambodia to see Angor Wat. It's indeed amazing. Then we went to Phnom Penh for two days. But we didn't really like the country from what we had seen and experienced. It's very dirty, much worse than China, and in-your-face poverty, but hard to distinguish who is really poor and who are professional beggars. The children beggars really broke my heart but I only dare to give out food or drink. It's very expensive in Cambodia, because it's a dollarized economy. We babysat for a couple Saturday night who worked for NGO and lived in Phnom Penh for many years and they have a lot of wisdom on the culture and people and know who's really in need etc. The tuk-tuk drivers always wanted to rip us off as you would expect, and more aggressive than Bangkok. However I have high hopes for the country as well. All the beggars and tuk-tuk drivers speak English, at least the "business" English to make you feel guilty not giving them money or buy things from them. I think if their asset is channeled properly and the government corruption is eliminated, and people's dependency on foreign aid is lessoned, the country is going to be very strong.

What can I say about Angor Wat? It's some beautiful stones piled one on top of another. Looking at these three equally beautiful pictures, based on the theory that two of them result from a "big bang" millions of years ago, and the molecules had reactions with each other, and we now enjoy beautiful nature and human beings, I then can draw the conclusion that Angor Wat came about the same way. If one can argue that the creation story was just made up by foolish minds and cannot be used as evidence of how the world came about, then since there is absolutely no evidence other than folklores about Angor Wat being built, then the logically consistent conclusion is that Angor Wat was not built by anyone but resulted from natural causes.

Dialogs in Cambodia, usually with boys or girls who are 6-9 trying to sell me things:
Dialog 1.
Boy: Madame, please buy these bracelets from me. 1 dollar!
Lily: No, thank you. I can't take them.
Boy: You don't need to take them. You can wear them!
Lily: No, thank you. I don't need them.
Boy: Where are you from?
Lily: America.
Boy: America has 50 states, and the capital is Washington DC. The president is George W. Bush. etc. etc.
Lily: You study very well. Why aren't you in school today? Oh! It's Saturday! You don't have school.
Boy: Madame, in your country, you don't have school on Saturday. But in my country, we have school six days a week. But today is a holiday.
Lily: Do you know what day is today?
Boy: No.
Lily: You can learn something new today. Today is World's Women's Day.
Boy: OK. But please buy the bracelets from me.
..... Lily would like to buy them just to help him out, but cold-hearted Brent wouldn't let her....


Dialog 2 (on our way into a site)
Girl: Madame! Would you like some scarf? 1 for 2 dollars.
Lily: Mmm... No, thank you!
Girl: OK, ONE dollar.
Lily: No, thank you.
Girl: OK, but when you come back, you buy from ME, OK?!
Lily: OK.
.... (coming out)
Girl: Hi Madame, remember me?! Would you like to buy scarf?
Lily: (it's really not expensive and I can use it) OK, I'll buy one. (Looking through the scarves, and another girl comes up)
Girl2: Buy one from me too!
Lily: I can only buy one.
Girl2: OK. (looking resigned) Buy from her.
Brent (loudly): What do you need it for? You don't need any more stuff! (Pulled me away...)

I was very upset leaving there. No American nor most native English speakers can appreciate, kids at that age having to make a living, in a foreign language!

Baby face

Last night I met the youngest student at the Well(http://servantworks.org/well), who was working at the bars as a prostitute. She is now 13.

I have met quite a few baby faces like her. They are just girls. They are 13-15. They love to chat, laugh, pretty things. When I saw them, it's hard to imagine that they used to be selling their bodies, and it turns my stomach to think that some men would want to pay to rob their innocence. These men's daughters or granddaughters would have been older than them, and they would have been cat-fighting with their peers over some freckle faced boy in school.

These girls look just like normal girls, though compare to Caucasian girls, they are much smaller in stature and thinner. They mostly come from the very poor region of north-east Isan, with parents died young or being abandoned, or sold to be working in Bangkok to send money home. They all have too much life story for their age.

My heart was broken the first time I visited the Well, when I met Bo, a skinny bright faced happy girl of 14. She was very talkative, and of course I couldn't understand much. She was showing off the English words she learned that day, and she was also learning math. Her aunt was also there. I had thought her aunt was a prostitute and came to the Well, and brought her along. But later I found the contrary - Bo was working in the bars as a prostitute, and got rescued by the Well, and her aunt lost her husband and was devastated, and Bo brought the aunt to the Well.

I have visited the Well a couple of times now, and as my Thai is improving, I can hold a couple of minutes longer conversation with the girls. The girls are rough girls, I learned. They were street kids, and have to carry edges around them. Sometimes they would fight. At the Well, they learn English, math, and more importantly, God's love. They are not worthless as they have learned from their society and culture, but are absolutely loved by a father they never had. They start to learn to respect themselves and others.

Jim and Judy who have started the Well are amazing people. They have poured out their lives on it. It's definitely hard and heart-breaking work. Some girls would go back to their old life, as money does come much easier, and they have to feed their drug addictions which they acquired during their prostitution. They said they have learned that they can't change people, but all they learned is to love them, and love them more.

The Well's website is http://servantworks.org/well. And Jim's blog tells a lot more about what's going on.

The girls are learning a few crafts. The ones I've come to know more are all making jewelries. They have excellent workmanship, and the pieces are beautiful. Some of their work can be seen and purchased at http://narimon.org/.

Green trip

I think the French call field trips Green Trip.

Some classmates at our Thai school took a day trip to Kao Yai National Park, and then the wineries, two hours north of Bangkok. It was a fun trip.

The wineries area looked like Napa Valley, but looking closely, I saw the signs in Thai and knew I was still in Thailand.

Working hard in Bangkok

February has been and will be a hectic month. We didn't have visitors for three months, and then everyone decides to come in February. We have visitors every week, and I am busy entertaining, washing sheets, in between studying Thai and teaching Chinese.

After all this is third world. As much as my friends envy our "luxury" living, I wonder if they can be as creative as me to dry bed sheet on dining table. Dryer is non-existent, neither is coin laundry in this hood.

My hand hurts when I stay on the computer for more than 10 minutes. And I really can't answer everyone's email. My blogging is the only way to answer everyone's questions, such as where we are, what we are doing.

So I am working hard to try out another career. I've been teaching Chinese since November. I'm teaching in a Chinese language school. I applied at several schools and this one is the only one that is in shortage of teachers. But they only have two classes a week for me, which is sufficient for me to tell if I like it, but not sufficient to pay our utility bills.

I like teaching students who are eager to learn or disciplined. For students who have 1 second attention span, it's very challenging. My favorite was an 11-year-old French girl who is a student of another teacher. I taught her when her teacher went back to China for a month. She was like a sponge, and she studied in between classes. She speaks French, English, a little Thai and a little Chinese now. For siblings who study together, it's always a problem. I had two Korean brothers and have had two Thai sisters. The younger one is always the "lazy" one. The older ones would learn and know their stuff, but the younger ones would just tag along and be clueless, and then the older ones would despise the younger and call them "stupid". I still have the Thai sisters and they are really sweet girls. I have to find creative ways to have the younger one learn a little bit more without boring the older one. Somehow some parents have the notion that their kids are better learning together, maybe they get a discount. I don't know. Our landlord have twins, and they purposely separate them in school.

I always love teaching adults, except at my last job to someone who didn't really care to learn. I have an adult Thai student now who is really eager to learn. He is Chinese decent, and had lived in Singapore when he was young and learned some Chinese. Now he wants to pick up where he left off so he doesn't waste such a beautiful language.

Learning Thai has become more challenging. Keeping up the discipline to memorize the vocabulary and sentence patterns everyday is difficult. Strangely, finding someone to practice is also difficult in this Japanese neighborhood. We live in an inconvenient location that in order to reach the public transport, we have to take a taxi, or a long sweaty walk.

Brent is working hard on his trading project. He's currently busy writing an article for IBM that he needs to submit by mid Feb.

We will be back in New York in June. All good things have to end. We can only live on our savings for so long. I have to find a job that pays the bills.

Trouble in paradise

I saw an ad on the internet for English teachers. A Danish teacher (from Denmark) is leaving Thailand after teaching for some years and announced his vacancy. His ad apologized to all the Filipino teachers and said the owner doesn't want any Asian teachers, but any other non-native English speakers are OK. I posted a question to him and here's his reply: (my user name is "caydii")
=======================

Re:English teacher

LarsSorensen View Member Profile Add as Friend Send Message Add to PM block list Forward PM Find Member's Topics Find Member's Posts

Re:English teacher, Yesterday, 2008-01-11 18:02:32

Newbie Group: Members Posts: 1 Member No.: 56,299 Joined: 2008-01-03

Hi I did ask the owner of the school your question. (the owner is a Chinese lady) I first have to say this is the owners answer and does in no way reflect what I think about the "problem". Her answer was: The parents of the students want there kids to study with a "farang" (white) teacher, not an Asian. She have before said no to an African American and a American Chinese. I am very sorry to tell you this, and i don't understand it. I don't understand how a Chinese person can be a racist against Chinese people, but you see it all the time in Thailand. Regards and respect Lars QUOTE Hi, I saw your posting and was puzzled by the restriction the owner has on teachers. No Asian teachers? What does he mean? No Asian looking teachers? What if I'm an American Chinese who grew up in the US and speak just like a native? Would you ask him that? Thanks! caydii

Thank you, America!

We went to Koh Chang (Elephant Island) last weekend, to get some beach and fresh air after the holiday crowds and before my school started. It turned out to be my favorite island. Once we got there, we forgot about the painful long 7-hour journey we just took to get there (bus, pickup truck taxi, ferry, then pickup truck taxi again).

We stayed on Klong Prao Beach, which is a quieter beach, with some resorts and huts along the beach and quite a few restaurants right on the beach that are not charging rip off prices just because they are on the beach. Some swings are hanging from the tall trees, so that kids and big kids :) can enjoy swinging right into the water. The pictures should tell more than words...

The second day we took a snorkeling trip. On the same pickup truck that took us to the pier, there was a Korean man in his forties and his daughter. We only found out that they are Koreans after Brent started talking to the guy. When he found out that we are from America, he said "I am very grateful to America!" He said though the young people in Korea now don't like America that much, he is grateful because if America didn't fight the Korean war, south Korea wouldn't have been such a rich country. He kept on saying 'thank you' to us that we were speechlessly moved and I felt proud to be an American. I guess the man has traveled around and see that what South Korea would be like if they also lived under communist regime.

I am reading a fascinating biography on Mao (the 'great' leader of People's Republic of China). I just found out the reason why Korean war lasted so long, was because Mao kept on piping in Chinese "volunteer" army, and used it as an evidence to Stalin that he is able to be the boss of communist community of entire Asia, so that Stalin would give China the nuclear bomb he's been nagging for, so that he (Mao) can build a super power country and the world would listen to him. Kim Il Sung wanted to end the war two years before the war actually ended, because north Korea was in a shamble, and the country suffered huge human loss. But Mao, being appointed boss of Kim by Stalin, wanted to show his ability, directed Kim to continue the war, and his purpose was to drain and kill more Americans. He didn't care about Chinese lives, as there were plenty (in his own words), and he sent them to die, especially those he disliked (including a famous general who disagreed with him years before), and many soldiers who came from the Kwomintang army. Mao also ordered the POWs from the war returned to China being executed because they were "traders" that they were even captured.

It's rare to hear this kind of pro-America sentiments in the media these days. Even when we were in Shandong, my friends expressed that people there like America, and hate Japan, still. Shandong was occupied by Japan several times in the last hundred years and many were brutally tortured and killed.

The third day we went for elephant trecking before we said good-bye to the island. Our mahout was a bit crazy, probably half drunk, as he asked us during the ride if he could drink whiskey. He's very agile and he jumped from our elephant to the other elephant's back trying to scare the kids. He kept on pulling the tail of the elephant in front of us, and pretended it was a microphone and sang songs. I guess the elephant was not happy, because when he jumped from another elephant to her, she wiggled so he fell to the ground and scraped his arm! Thai elephants are half the size of African ones, about 3 meters tall, but they are gentler and smarter, and are tamed and used as farm hands. We loved touching their wiry hair. Even the baby elephant is 200 kg, so we wouldn't want to hold it.

It is 1/1/2008!

Just noticed my last posting was dated as December 31, 2007. Then found my profile location is in Afghanistan. Hello! I'm in 2008!